Sameo and Ainsleyet
by Aries Zodiac
Summary: Two Political camps, Both alike in Dignity In moderately fair Washington, where we lay our Scene... (The Short Version)


**Sameo and Ainsleyet**

'The Greatest Love Story of All Time'

_(discounting any other love stories ever writen, anywhere and Jaws.)_

Aries Zodiac

* * *

_This piece of madness was inspired by…um, tidying my room. Yeah, that makes sense, doesn't it.._

_Anyways… Don't own Romeo and Juliet, don't own West Wing, don't own (very) brief bit of Hitchhiker's Guide._

**Sooo;**

**Curtain up and enjoy the show!

* * *

**

**Voice:**

Two political camps, both alike in dignity _(which ain't saying much for either of them_)

In moderately fair Washington, where we lay our scene _(Rain in the afternoon, some snow)_

From ancient grudge _(don't mention the war),_ break forth to new mutiny

Where uncivil shouting makes for civil action _(house full of lawyers, must be some use for 'em)_

From forth the fatal bowels of the White House (_near the steam pipe distribution venue)_

A pair of (_could have been star-crossed lovers if she hadn't vanished off the face ofthe earth in Season Two)_

Take their scripts

Whose misadventur'd piteous overtures

Do with their complete failure confuse people _(confused me anyway)_

The fearful passage of their general giving-out

And the continuance of the electorate to vote in halves _(as in 50:50)_

Which absolutely nothing will remove _(which is why people get excited at American elections- you actually don't know what will happen)_

It is now stuck in traffic we meet the first

Of minor bit characters _(to increase tension and do exposition)_

Who here will moan and bluster in an irritated fashion. _(because what else are they for?)

* * *

_

**ACT ONE **

Scene One- _A public place

* * *

_

_Enter Lional Tribbey and…whathisface- that prat that Ainsley was on a team with- the Republican who lasted all of one episode- you know who I mean)- in cars stuck in a traffic jam_

_(Yeah, it lasted longer in the play but I don't have enough Republicans to go round)_

**Tribbey: **

What, art thou parked or what? Thou'rt taking up the whole damn street! Turn, then Republican dude, and look upon thy political nemesis! (_excitable chap isn't he)_

**Rep. dude:**I have but stalled, sit back in your car. Or come over here and give me a hand.

**Tribbey: **

What! Election year and talk of peace! I hate the word! As I hate hell and thy Republican Leaderdude! Have at thee with my trusty hurley! _(large stick)_

**They fight.**

**Enter several other victims of traffic jams and road rage- Rentacrowd gathers**

**Rentacrowd: **

The chair! Use the chair! Um… oh yeah- Down with the Republicans! Down with the Democrats!

_Enter **Neutral President **with **Random Aides **(He's neither Rep. nor Dem. for this, okay? Don't ask me how he got into Government.)_

**NP**:

Rebellious electorate, enemies to peace

Are you lot listening! OY!

Shut up and stop fighting

On pain of….um pain, drop the blasted weaponry _(New gun control bill is going to have a hurley clause attached) _

And listen to me for once, okay?

Three bloody campaign brawls, your faults

Yes you, Tribbey and random Republican dude.

No, I don't know your name

Shut up and let me finish

Um….have thrice disturbed Washingtons noble streets

And caused the Press to have a flippin' field-day

They're going to bring back a monarchy if you aren't careful

If you ever disturb the people again

I will…give a three hour lecture on National Parks and Cabbage _(**Crowd disperses speedily)**_

You- Democrat, back to the White House

And you Republican- I don't hold grudges- that's what I pay Josh Lyman for,

Talk to him later

**Republican:**Aw…No fair!

**NP:**

Once more, all men…oh…where is everyone?

**_General Exeunt __

* * *

_**

_Enter **Lord **and **Lady Neutral President **(i.e. Jed & Abbey Bartlett) with **Charlie **_

**Lady NP: **

Where is Sam?- saw you him tonight?_ (well actually it's day but she's got_

_unpoetic licence)_

At least someone wasn't in this fight

**Charlie:**

Madam, an hour before the worshipp'd sun

Peer'd forth the golden window of the east,

A troubled mind drave me to walk abroad;

Where, underneath the grove of sycamore

That westward rooteth from the White House

So early walking did I see him with Toby in furious altercation

And as I approached he cast up his hands and waxed most wroth

And not a minute after had departed the scene with heavy brow

Figuring that I was already in a bad mood I let him get on with it

**Lady NP**Ya' wha?

**Lord NP **This morning he had a fight with Toby and is sulking somewhere. It happens.

**Lady NP: **Oh. Find out what's up with him would you? Or have you already tried?

**Charlie**:

Both by myself and many other friends

But he, his own affection' councillor…

**Lady NP: **Yes, yes. More matter with less art. _(Hey, if I have to do Hamlet for school, then I'm gonna spread the misery)_

**Charlie**:Oh. Haven't a clue.

**_More Exuenting._**

**Charlie: **Yeesh, it's not like I get much to say normally anyway.

* * *

**_Enter Sam _**

**Charlie: **Good morrow, cousin!

**Sam **_looks hunted): _Is it? Um…was that the President?

**Charlie: **Yup. Why are you depressed?

**Sam: **Ah me, for it is that I love a woman.

**Charlie: **Not again. Who is it this time?

**Sam**: She…um…er is not sworn to chastities…um…swear.

**Charlie**:O, not another one. You're gonna try and reform her again aren't you?

**Sam**: No! Um…

**Charlie**: Exeunting now…

_**Charlie, um…exeunts** _

**Sam**: I wish people would quit saying that. It's not like I knew beforehand.

**Exe…wanders off sulking

* * *

**

_Enter **Great Republican Leaderdude **(TM) and **Cliff **_

**Mystified Audience**: Who?

**Voice**: That guy with Donna's diary

**Demystified Audience**: Oh

**GRLd**:

But McGarry is bound as well as I

For penalty alike; and 'tis not hard I think

For us not to try kill each other for a week.

Bartlett'll have forgotten it by then.

**Cliff**:Oh right, yeah…

**GRLd**:

Fine, you young are so selfish

You want to go after Ainsley Hayes, is it?

Well, good luck, that's all I'm saying

But woo her, gentle… whatever-your-surname-is, get her heart

Keep a chocolate muffin with you at all times

And it shouldn't be too hard

This night I hold an old accustom'd fundraiser

Whereto I have invited many a guest

Such as I love (and need to suck up to)

So if you're there it'll be one less.

And I will talk at you in a lofty and annoying manner

Full of thees and hithertothous

And Ainsley will find it necessary to rescue you.

Therefore make your acquaintance

**Cliff**: You what?

_**Exuent** _

* * *

_**Enter Josh and Sam** _

**Josh**:Hey Sam, want to gatecrash a Republican fundraiser.?

**Sam**: Um….

**Josh**:I think Laurie might be there

**Sam**: O! Okay!

**_Wander off _**

_**

* * *

**_

_Okay, not going into the next bit. Ainsley; Cliff, Cliff; Ainsley. What do you think? _

_Sam, Josh and random other would-be gatecrashers talk. Sam is depressed etc. Movin' on._

**

* * *

**

**ACT TWO**

_**Scene One**_

_-Deep within Republican Territory, the lone Democrat ventures, hearing behind every tree, the sound off the ravenous Bug-Blatter Reporter of Trall ready to pounce. He approaches his prey…_

**'Click' **

_Okaaaay…Scene One: Republican House. Spoilsport.

* * *

_

**Sam**: Can I do anything but moodily eat a sandwich while Laurie is here with him!

**Josh**: Sam? Where's your true love, fair Laurie? _(yaddayaddayadda-sorry Josh)_

_Josh **exeunts **to boogie on the dancefloor, and scares quite a lot of people_.

**Sam **Git.

_Ainsley appears above at a window _

**Sam**

Um…what light through yonder window breaks?

O, it is a powercut and there's the fair torch

_Ainsley sighs pointedly. Sam notices her _

**Sam**:

Wow! New face in these parts.

Wonder was she hired because she's small and skinny with long blonde hair?

I mean…um- not allowed say things like that am I?

It is my lady; O, it is my love! _(Told you he was fickle. Watch this-)_

**Voice: Hey Sam, what happened to fair Laurie?**

**Sam: **Who? Hey! I'm having a moment here! Ahem!

**Sam: **O, that she knew she were

She munches, on an apple, what of that?

She's still pretty damn cute.

**Ainsley **Ah me!

**Sam**:

She speaks!

O, speak again, person dressed in what appears to be a muffin-outfit.

For I cannot- I am disguised as an onion.

**Ainsley**:

Sam, Sam! Wherefore art thou, Sam.

I think I can hear your tones

And sense a pungent smell of onions

Deny thy Democratness, and forswear your party

Or, if thou wilt not, I'll no longer be a Republican….O!

_**Sam panics and falls into the swimming pool. And drowns.**_

**_Ainsley marries Cliff then weird shit happens and they all die tragically.

* * *

_**

The End

**

* * *

Voice There was never a tale so totally unglued **

As that of yer wan… and the other dude.

**Bet you're glad that's over.

* * *

**

_Haven't gotten to write a really weird one in a while. If you liked that then my other strange stuff is under the name Annere in the Stargate section. (hint hint)_  
_You know what I'm gonna say so…I'll say it anyway- PLEASE review!_

_Aries_


End file.
